First things first

He may have worn sandals.  He may have worn socks.
He may have farmed sheep and he may have led flocks.
He may have worn a tunic, he may have looked fab in it.
He may have made his Mum a new kitchen cabinet.

He might be a pop star, he might be God’s son.
He might be a fable, he might be a no-one.
He might have been special or bonkers or weird,
but there’s no disagreement on this - Jesus definitely had a beard. 

He may have fed five thousand.  He may have healed the sick.
It’s possible that foot-washing really made him tick.
He may have been dead serious, or else a little skittish.
My Grandmother reckons he was definitely British. 

He might have been good-looking, he might have been quite plain. 
He might be in heaven, he might be insane
He might have eaten locusts or figs or honey.
He would have given Gandulf a run for his money.

He may have been nomadic.  He may have had a shack.
He may have died and he may have come back.
He may be the earth’s Almighty Saviour.
His favourite girl’s name may have been Octavia. 

He might have been podgy.  He might have been thin.
He might have ridden donkeys or rid the world of sin.
He might have thought a stable was as good as it gets,
but let me tell you this - Jesus would never have advertised Gillettes.

We asked comic poet, entertainer and all-round lover of words Jude Simpson to write five 'funny' poems about Jesus for this site. And to document her creative process in an audio diary.

Download:
firstthingsfirst.mp3
firstthingsfirst.mov

The 5 poems:
First things first
Myspace
Fish
Unrequited love
Not cut out for religion