The Jesus Silly Season

01/12/11 | Posted by MattPage

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. More tellingly however the news starts to carry a glut of bizzare, minor stories about Jesus which together combine to remind those who are only faintly aware that Christmas is kinda meant to be about Jesus.'

 ©thegirlsmoma used under a Creative Commons Licence

Firstly, there’s the appearing in unusual stuff. Having faced some tough competition this year in the “things looks like someone” category, Jesus has made a strong comeback, pitching up in a paper towel in a Coventry hospital.

He certainly needs the publicity - a Leicester University survey asked 2500 16-24 year olds whom they most admired and Jesus ranked only a lowly 123rd. It’s bad enough seeing the top two spots going to David Beckham and Brad Pitt, but he only tied with George W. Bush.

Not that he’s getting much help from his official representatives. The Church of England’s plan to publicise their Christmas services was to get Jo Brand to say that Jesus was “a good bloke”. Next year’s plan apparently is to get Trevor MacDonald to concede that “he’s alright if you like that sort of thing”.

One place Jesus is getting talked about however is on YouTube thanks to Benton/Fenton the deer-chasing hound. Large numbers of people apparently find this hilarious which makes you wonder how on earth hospitals overrun by people having cardiac arrests every time “You’ve Been Framed” is on the telly.

Anyone planning to send the above link to their friends in Pakistan will be relieved that this will no longer pose a threat to their liberty. The country’s telecommunications authority had planned to include “Jesus” in a list of 1000 obscene, provocative or blasphemous words which were to be banned from text messages. But protests from Catholic Bishops and the government’s special adviser for religious-minority affairs led the ban to be rescinded.

And the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Bethlehem is to get a new roof after a lengthy wait, which is kind of ironic given that it commemorates the spot where Mary and Joseph went when they were desperate to get a roof over their heads.

It’s a bit unclear whether Travelodge have missed the original point of the story, but just to make sure it’s something that never happens again, the hotel chain has announced that any couple who can prove that they really are named Mary and Joseph can get to stay in one of their rooms for free. A last resort perhaps if there’s no room at the (Holiday) Inn.

Anyone wanting to see what it feels like to sleep in a stable in the middle of winter might be pleased to know that a farm in Brighton will let them do just that. For a mere £12 you get to spend a night on a straw bed in a real stable. And with wifi, tea-making facilities and an optional donkey it actually might be a better option than that Travelodge.

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