Conversations with Jesus: in this episode Jesus speaks to Santa

20/12/08 | Posted by ellen

Over a lovely glass of mulled wine Santa and Jesus share a mince pie and discuss heavy schedules, the time space continuum and the real meaning of Christmas.

 Jesus and Santa sing an unlikely duet

Santa: Well, Jesus welcome to Lapland. Is this your first visit to my corporate HQ?
Jesus: No, actually I have called in to see you before but either you’ve been busy or ‘resting’. I finally spoke to your PA and she arranged this date to suit both our Christmas diaries. So, after all this time it is great to finally meet the great man himself!
S: …and you Jesus, a privilege indeed. I have to say I am a great admirer of your work and, of course, without you my job would be impossible!
J: Ha ha ha - or should that be ho ho ho…well, anyway it is good of you to meet with me today particularly at this time of year, as it must be a busy time for you?
S: Too right it’s busy, but there’s always time for a cup of tea and a chat. I guess it must be busy for you as well?
J: Yes it is, but like you I have a number of appointed deputies dealing with the everyday business of Christmas…after all it is my birthday (or at least my official birthday) and I like to kick back a bit and enjoy the day. They say some lovely things about me at Christmas but it is always heartening when people actually get out and do some good as well as just talk about it. I find that if people don’t just listen to what I said and actually get on and do something then Christmas continues to mean something to me. How about you? How do you manage to get so much done at Christmas?
S: I don’t like to talk about how I deal with the time space continuum - it’s a bit of a trade secret – but, I work with a similar pattern of strategically placed people close to the ground (if you know what I mean) who know how the system works. They keep the whole present – ‘naughty or nice’ – thing in place for me.
J: Yes, I wanted to talk to you about that…I am not sure that the suffering vs reward thing is really the best way to manage business…I mean don’t you feel that you should give presents to all the children rather than just to those who have been ‘good’?
S: Yes, that thought has crossed my mind. But, it is so difficult to change policy this late in the day. I have to say I am very impressed by your open arms approach to salvation it seems so equitable. It’s just that I am not sure how to get the message out to everyone in time for this year!
J: OK, but might be worth working on for next year though.
S: Yes, I will put it to ‘the team’ at the next briefing in the New Year and see how it goes down. I can’t make any promises though.
J: No, that’s ok. It’s just good to hear that you can be flexible on that. 
S: So, we have a lot in common Jesus, don’t we?  But, the main thing I wanted to ask you about was how you felt about the way in which people mix up fact and fiction in relation to your existence?
J: Yes, I thought you might bring that up.
S: Well, I find that people often struggle to come to terms with the consequences of ‘not believing’ in me…how do you deal with that challenge?
J: To be honest I have made some pretty big sacrifices to allow people to make their own minds up about my existence and though I do make some occasional interventions, I tend to leave that up to my people and the Holy Spirit now (she deals with the everyday stirrings).
S: Ah that’s where we differ…my elves have very limited powers I’m afraid.
J: I know…
S: Ha Ha Ha! Ho Ho Ho!

Jesus and Santa shared a few Christmas jokes and arranged to catch up in the New Year after things had calmed down. So, after a warm hug and an exchange of presents Jesus bid a fond farewell to Santa.

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