Dying to die?

28/02/10 | Posted by Poppy

I blogged back in December about my father in law who is very ill. Thanks to a wonderful care home he is still with us, but all the debates about euthanasia in the news recently have raised really important questions for us. What do you do when someone says they have had enough and don't want to go on?

 Fragility

At the moment the law says that if someone ends a life then it is murder. If the law changes then a comment about not wanting to go on could lead to an early funeral following a lethal injection.

If I understand the current situation right, mitigating circumstances are taken into account in cases where it is clear that the ending of a life was motivated by compassion and a desire to end suffering. The police will still get involved. It could lead to a court case and perhaps prison for the relative who thought they were doing the right thing.

Until recently it seemed as if I understood the pros and cons of the arguments and thought that elective euthanasia was a good idea in some circumstances. Having a relative who is very ill has made me see this issue in a very different light.

Sometimes my father in law is very tired. He says he has had enough and says that he doesn’t want to go on. He hasn’t said it outright that he wants to die, but he has never been one for direct statements! But these low moments do not last for long and the next time we see him he is usually perkier and able to hold short conversations. I worry that if there was a change to the law then those low tired moments could lead to irreversible action. I can well imagine that my father in law, who is an honourable man, might want to take make his end quick to save the family worry. And then there is the issue of money. He knows that the nursing home fees are eating into his and his wife’s savings and that when he is gone there is no money left for her. If there was a way to leave her better provided for then he might well take it. But we would all much rather that he stays with us for a few weeks more rather than keep the money in the bank.

One of the ten commandments is ‘thou shalt not kill’ and I saw a programme on the BBC with Ann Widdicombe a few weeks ago. It made me think that there will of course be exceptions to every rule and there are people who are far worse off than my father in law who will want to test the law, but all the emotional stresses around having an ill relative make me think that keeping the law as it is, and testing each case on its merits is a very wise way to go.

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